As a first time mum, I had expectations of myself to be able to take care of the baby on my own. I wanted to be able to let my parents and husband know that I was fully capable of being an independent mother. I might not have been conscious of it then but perhaps I felt that I needed to prove my worth and capabilities as a mum. Yet truthfully, there was nobody judging me and nothing that I needed to prove.
My perspectives changed after having another baby. I suppose part of it was because I already knew I was certainly able to care for my child on my own. The other reason was that it was indeed more overwhelming to have a second baby when my first child was less than 2 years old. I readily welcomed any help I could get. Previously, I felt possessive and wanted my child all to myself as much as possible. I had learned that this ideal wasn't really sustainable. When the new baby came along and I had nurse him almost every other hour while trying to catch up on rest as much as possible in between feeds, having someone to take my toddler off my hands was a godsend.
It also helps when there are more people around to shower attention to the toddler while you are busy caring for the new baby. It would certainly help to make the toddler still feel very cared for and attended to, as he learns to adapt to the situation where he is no longer the only child.
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