One evening after I came home from work, I was feeling tired...and grouchy.
It was past 9 pm and I really wanted to quickly get all the children to bed so that I could also rest.
The boys were still engrossed with playing their toys so I left them with my husband while I brought my little girl up to the bedroom.
I was just getting ready to nurse my daughter to sleep when my 5-year-old came up and chirped,
"Mommy! Where's my milk?"
To which I replied, very grouchily,
"Do I have to do everything around here?"
And I lifted my daughter and stomped downstairs to get my boys their packet milk.
I sure wasn't setting a good example to my little ones.
What a grumpy, grouchy mommy right before bedtime!
I was frustrated that my 5-year-old didn't ask his dad for milk when they were right outside the kitchen downstairs and instead assumed that I had gotten them up for them.
I was irritated that it had to be my responsibility to get their milk every.single.day.
I mean, they know where the milk packets are kept! Can't they help themselves to it? Why can't they ask Daddy for help? Why must it always be Mommy?
Why must I do everything around the house?
Well, it all sounds really immature now that I'm writing it all out.
It's very embarrassing to admit actually. Yet I'd like to think I'm not the only mother who experienced such outbursts occasionally when we are simply too tired or moody. (Read: 3 ways to be a happier mom)
It doesn't make my outburst correct, but acknowledging it brings it to a certain level of clarity and understanding such that I could be more aware of my words and actions the next time my moods get messy.
The truth is, the highlight of this incident actually came the next morning when I was bathing my 5-year-old.
5yo: "Mommy, did you have a good sleep? Are you feeling better?"
I looked at him rather amused, having completely forgotten about my outburst the night before.
I said, "I'm feeling okay. Thanks for asking."
5yo: "Oh, that's good. Because last night before bed you were like 'Why do I have to do everything around here??'"
He repeated my words in an angsty, growling manner.
Pin me please
So that's what I sounded like -- an angry momma bear.
I laughed at what my son had said. This 5-year-old was truly concerned about how I was, and my outburst indeed left an impression on his little mind. That was certainly embarrassing for me.
I apologized to him for my outburst and told him that I was feeling really tired the night before. Even then, it didn't justify my outburst.
My son nodded and said, "It's okay, mommy", gave me a big hug after the bath and scooted off to another bright cheery day.
Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by our fatigue that we forget we are actually capable of showing our children a little bit more love and patience.
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