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One evening after I came home from work, I was feeling tired...and grouchy. It was past 9pm and I really wanted to quickly get all the children to bed so that I could also rest. The boys were still engrossed with playing their toys so I left them with my husband while I brought my little girl up to the bedroom. I was just getting ready to nurse my daughter to sleep when my 5yo came up and chirped,

"Mummy! Where's my milk?"

To which I replied, very grouchily,

"Do I have to do everything around here?"

And I lifted my daughter and stomped downstairs to get my boys their packet milk.

I sure wasn't setting a good example to my little ones.

What a grumpy, grouchy mummy right before bedtime!

I was frustrated that my 5yo didn't ask his dad for milk when they were right outside the kitchen downstairs and instead assumed that I had gotten them up for them. I was irritated that it had to be my responsibility to get their milk every.single.day. I mean, they know where the milk packets are kept! Can't they help themselves to it? Why can't they ask Daddy for help? Why must it always be Mummy?

Why must I do everything around the house?

Well, it all sounds really immature now that I'm writing it all out. It's very embarrassing to admit actually. Yet I'd like to think I'm not the only mother who experienced such outbursts occasionally when we are simply too tired or moody. It doesn't make my outburst correct, but acknowledging it brings it to a certain level of clarity and understanding such that I could be more aware of my words and actions next time my moods get messy.

The truth is, the highlight of this incident actually came the next morning when I was bathing my 5yo.

5yo: "Mummy, did you have a good sleep? Are you feeling better?"

I looked at him rather amusedly, completely forgotten about my outburst the night before.

I said, "I'm feeling okay. Thanks for asking."

5yo: "Oh, that's good. Because last night before bed you were like
'Why do I have to do everything around here??'"

He repeated my words in an angsty, growling manner.

So that's what I sounded like -- an angry bear.

I laughed at what my son had said. This 5yo was truly concerned about how I was, and my outburst indeed left an impression on his little mind. That was certainly embarrassing.

I apologised to him for my outburst and told him that I was feeling really tired the night before. Even then, it didn't justify my outburst. I told him that Mummy has a nasty temper and I really need to learn how to control the way I talk especially when I'm tired or angry.

My 5yo nodded and said, "It's Okay Mummy", gave me a big hug after bath, and scooted off to another bright cheery day.

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