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Positive Parenting: Why Our Children Misbehave

Positive Parenting Solutions

· positive parenting,parenting tips,motherhood,mom life,first time mom

Session 4 of Positive Parenting Solutions, in my opinion, is a very powerful lesson. It is very insightful, and I have gained a lot of wisdom with regards to parenting from these well-organized lessons. Completing the workbook as I go through the lessons brings greater clarity in helping me understand my chosen way of parenting and helps me reflect on my reactions during my children's tantrums and meltdowns. It has also made me realize that there are always deeper issues that the child is struggling with behind the tears and tantrums. It is rather instinctive to react to tantrums and meltdowns with as much anger and frustration, and lashing out threats and punishment.

If we don't learn to see beyond the actions of our children and look into how they really think or feel underneath all the tears and angry outbursts, we will never be able to cure the root of the problem that is troubling their hearts and minds. @mumpreneur264

It requires so much maturity and wisdom for the parent to respond calmly and lovingly in the face of a screaming child seemingly out of control. When tantrums and meltdowns happen in public, the parent not only has to deal with managing the child, they also have to deal with the judgment and critical reactions of bystanders. It can be most embarrassing and stressful. It takes a lot of courage and confidence to put aside public opinion and even opinions of family and friends in such situations, to solely focus on the wellbeing on the child and tame the storm without you losing your cool.

Patience has never been one of my strongest suits. I'm also rather short-tempered and very stubborn. Having to manage a strong-willed child has certainly brought out the ugliest side of me. I am not proud to admit, but I have unleashed so much anger and frustration at my 3-year-old before. I really wish I had known better.

But it is never too late to modify our parenting methods, even if our children are already teenagers. With lots of love, patience, and determination, we can still mend the bonds with our children regardless of their age. @mumpreneur264

Session 4 of Positive Parenting Solutions has provided deep insights into our child's heart and mind, answering the big question of why our children misbehave. It has also categorized our children's tantrums into two types - upstairs tantrums and downstairs tantrums. Learning this has indeed been very enlightening. It allows me to be more aware of my child's true emotions and mental state when he is throwing a tantrum. Indeed, sometimes, my child simply cannot help himself. And if I react angrily to his situation, emotions will only continue to flare and it doesn't solve the root issue that the child is truly struggling with.

Young children are incredibly fast learners. They pick up new habits easily, especially the not so good ones. One trouble that many parents face, especially after the children start schooling, is the use of offensive language. Sometimes we use it ourselves without realizing that our children are picking up from us. Session 4 also provides 10 very helpful tips in teaching our children to curb the use of offensive language.

The highlight of Session 4 from Positive Parenting Solutions for me is learning about the four mistaken goals of misbehavior, two of which explain that undue attention and the desire for power are drivers of misbehavior. I am very impressed by how Positive Parenting Solutions can categorize such emotions and emotionally-driven actions so clearly to provide such clarity to understand why our children misbehave. Being able to classify our child's actions according to the four mistaken goals really help me to empathize better with my child's emotions and come up with a more appropriate response to the behavior. It certainly takes a lot of conscious effort and intentional learning in order to see the child's meltdown with such clarity and without getting emotionally pulled in. But this is the best solution to reducing the frequency of tantrums and meltdowns arising in the future because we are addressing the heart of our child instead of his behavior with each appropriate response given.

To find out more on Positive Parenting Solution, click on the picture below for a FREE webinar that comes with a free workbook and a report on "Backtalk Battles" that gives you a 5-strategy guide on dealing with your children when they talk back.

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