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Readjusting Daddy's Role

From "Mummies of Many" Series

· parenting tips,motherhood,parenting siblings,siblings,toddler activities

When you only had one child, you never had to worry about being outnumbered. With two children, if your spouse is with you, you are very likely still able to each manage one child rather easily. If you have three or more children, you would always be outnumbered. Regardless of how involved your husband was in caring for your first child, the both of you probably have to make adjustments regarding his duties, now that there is more than one child to take care of.

I believe that nothing beats parental involvement, especially in a young child's life. Parents naturally hold a special place in the hearts of our children. It is very common for families to have both parents working full-time jobs and have domestic helpers, grandparents or childcare services engaged in caring for the young child. Yet the child would always look forward to spending time with his parents, and genuinely adores them, no matter how little time they have together. Each parent plays a different role in a child's life, but parents belong to a common unit. Therefore, if mummy has to make adjustments to her routines to accommodate the new baby, it is essential that daddy steps in and help the older child adapt to a new routine.

My husband has been a very 'hands-on' father since the birth of our first child. But as the main caregiver for my child and having nursed him for almost ten months, naturally created a much stronger bond between my son and I. With a new addition to the family, my husband became more intentional in keeping my son company especially during the times when I had to nurse the baby or rock him to sleep. This allowed me more space to care for the baby without having to worry about my older child. There would still be times when my toddler insisted that he wanted to be with me or that he only wanted me to do certain activities with him. But with daddy being more energetic and fun, my son was certainly won over on most occasions.

If daddy has not been the most involved in caring for the first child before, it is certainly ideal that he shower more attention to the toddler now that there is a new baby in the family. It is all about granting the older child as much exclusive attention as before, and intentionally strengthening parent-child bonds. After all, parents exist as a unit, and if mummy is not available at the moment, there is always daddy.

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