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Staying Home or Back to Work?

#81 of 100 Days of Wisdom and Encouragement for the New Mum

· first time mom,having a new baby,family finance,motherhood,mom inspiration

Perhaps you can't wait to end your maternity leave and get back to the workplace. Or you are wondering whether you should extend your leave and stay home to care for your child. There are probably a lot of factors to consider – family finances, hiring domestic help, getting one of the gramps to commit to caring for the child, finding a suitable child care centre, streamlining expenses to sustain on a single income, career progression prospects, mental and emotional capacity to mind the child completely on your own 24/7. This is a big decision.

I believe this decision does not lie only in your hands, but also your husband's. It should be a joint decision made as a couple, for the family. You might seek advice from friends or family members. But at the end of the day, both you and your husband need to come to a unanimous decision about child-minding arrangements. I emphasize the importance of a joint decision at this point because it will save a lot of disagreements or quarrels in the future.

If you place your child in someone else's care, you need to fully trust the person. There shouldn't be a case where something happens and the caregiver is blamed, or you and your husband fight over, "I told you we shouldn't have asked so-and-so to take care of the baby! Now it's your fault!"

I’ve also learned that I cannot expect my husband to help me with the children when he comes home after a long day at work. He would be expecting to have some rest or quiet time to himself, but I would be expecting him to provide me with some relief from the children after spending more than 12 hours with them. Yet if the decision is for you to be the stay-home mum, then I’m afraid it is a 24/7 responsibility. There shouldn’t be any bitterness or resentment if you realize your husband is less than helpful with regards to minding the children after coming home from work.

May the Lord grant you the wisdom and courage that you need in making your decision, and for you and your husband to be united in strength and love.

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. – 1 Timothy 5:8

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