As a self-employed, my working arrangements are flexible. I head out to meet my clients on an appointment basis but I had to majorly cut back on work after my third child came along.
I didn't hire any domestic help and looking after three children under 5 was simply too overwhelming for my mom. I have stopped actively making appointments but when clients contact me, I am most certainly happy to engage.
In a sense, heading out to work is like a ticket to freedom for me. I am not just the moo-cow at home. I am not just the chauffeur to my boys. I am not just a play date for my kids.
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Don't get me wrong, I am still a proud and happy mother to my kids, but I am also very glad to be able to head out for work.
It can feel rather suffocating when it is hard to find a quiet corner at home without being hounded or needed by my children.
I fully accept my responsibility as the main caregiver for my children and I also know these growing up years are so precious and fly by so quickly.
But being able to step out of the house for work at times feels like a breath of fresh air as I claim back my individuality.
I can leave my children in the good hands of my parents for legitimate reasons. I can enjoy peace and quiet in the car to listen to my favorite music instead of nursery rhymes. I can spend some extra quiet moments at a cafe without being interrupted.
Sounds rather pathetic or deprived? Haha. I know.
As mothers, we all struggle to some extent with the choices that we make with regards to work and family.
Some of us wonder if we should work more to ease the financial responsibilities that our husband bears.
Some of us wonder if we are spending enough time with our children.
Some of us wish we could have more freedom for ourselves.
Some of us wish we could focus on work more intently without feeling guilty about time away from our family.
Well, every family functions differently. Every couple has different priorities and values. Sometimes we look at our friends' lives and wish we had theirs.
The grass will always look greener on the other side if we choose to see them that way. The truth is, our lives are only perfect if we see them as perfect.
For me, I have my struggles too - financial issues and self-esteem issues. But I have learned that when I keep worrying or wondering about the "what ifs", my fears take away my ability to be the best version of me in my role, whether at home or at work.
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About the author
Xuan W. Lee became a mother of three by the age of 30. After becoming pregnant with her third baby, she was determined to find ways to work from home while being the main caregiver to her young children. She was inspired and motivated to be a Mumpreneur and discovered that she could put her passion to work! She rekindled her love for writing and with a heart for all her fellow mummies, she has taken to documenting her motherhood journey which also serves as a source of encouragement and inspiration to other mummies.
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