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When Grandparents Get in the Way

#80 of 100 Days of Wisdom and Encouragement for the New Mum

· first time mom,disciplining a child,family relations,parenting tips,motherhood

I know without a doubt that my parents and in-laws love my children with all their hearts. I also truly believe it's a wonderful blessing that our parents are still well and healthy and my children can spend their childhood days playing with four gramps and learning from them. It was something I didn't have. Yet I have to admit there have been many occasions when I was frustrated by the gramps when they tried to interfere in my teaching or disciplining of my child.

Why do I always have to be the bad guy? Why am I always the one having to say "no"? Don't you think I don't want to be fun and agreeable to all the things that my son asks for? But if I don't set the limits, who would?

I am aware that my complaints of the gramps are always regarding how they spoil and over-indulge my children. Then again, grandparents are hardly disciplinarians to their grandchildren even if they were very strict parents to us. I realize I just have to learn to accept that their role as gramps is simply to love and dote on their grandchildren. Of course, imparting values to the little ones would also come naturally. But I simply can't expect them to treat my children the way I treat them – rules, expectations, discipline, and all. After all, they have already spent a great part of their lives disciplining us, so they really just wanna have some fun without the ‘parenting obligations’.

Over the years, I have learned to take a step back and do less micromanaging when it comes to how my parents or in-laws treat or indulge my children. It has made me less frustrated and everybody is happy.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. – Romans 12:9–10

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