When my first son was three, there was one occasion when I had a major argument with my father who said I was biased towards my second son.
Even though I disagreed with what my dad said, what transpired during the argument set me thinking. I took a step out of my own shoes and envisioned myself treating both my sons.
I was harsher on him because I placed higher expectations of him.
He is after all the older brother, therefore, in many situations, I have expected him to be more helpful and understanding.
I gave birth to my first son in January 2013, followed by the second in October 2014. I wasn't even 30.
I was still grappling with managing two young children and I definitely didn't score well if there was a parenting examination.
The episode made me realize that as much as I had expectations of my son and wanted him to learn so many things, I was in fact only as young as him.
I may be 29, but as a mummy, I was only three years old. Which would make me a very new mommy.
Seeing myself in this light was not meant to create excuses for me not managing well, but it did lift off a burden from my shoulders.
It meant that there is indeed so much for me to learn on this journey of motherhood and parenting.
It also meant that I should set aside my self-righteousness and be more receptive to opinions and advice from the people around me, especially from those who also love and care for my children deeply. (Read: It Takes A Village To Raise A Child)
This newfound perspective also meant I could stop being so hard on myself when I find myself not "getting things right".
We will make mistakes along our way, but with the right attitude, our paths on this journey will be much smoother than we fear.
Don't be too hard on yourself when you are faced with challenges. After all, you are only as young as your child.
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If you listen to advice and are willing to learn, one day you will be wise. People may plan all kinds of things, but the Lord's will is going to be done. - Proverbs 19:20-21
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